Koh Phangan

The day starts with the Lomprayah catamaran ferry from Maenam at 8am. Crossing is 35 minutes; the ferry is air-conditioned, has a snack bar, and arrives at Thong Sala (Phangan's main town) at 8:35.

From Thong Sala you have a private driver for the day. He's Thai, speaks tourist-level English, and knows the back roads. The northern beaches are an hour's drive — the road climbs, twists, and at one point becomes a single-vehicle dirt track. This is why we don't recommend renting a moped here.

Bottle Beach (Haad Khuat) is reached either by a 30-minute hike from the road or by a short long-tail boat ride from the next bay. The beach is a thin crescent of fine sand, almost no development, water clear to 5m. We'll have you there before noon, so the morning crowd has cleared.

Lunch is at a no-name restaurant on Thong Nai Pan beach — the kind of place where the menu is stapled to a coconut. The Massaman curry is the order. After lunch, the Secret Mountain viewpoint — 30-minute scramble, 360° view of the north coast.

We catch the 16:30 ferry back. You're on Samui by 17:30, hotel by 18:00. Long day, but the kind that makes people text us a week later asking when they can come back.